Cry

Can I cry?

Because it's been a while I had not cried.

Can I cry?

Since this aches keep on coming by.

Can I cry?

For me to hope that us will go up high.

Can I cry?

Without your presence, I feel like wanted to die.

Can I cry?

When tears might help us to have faith and not stopping to try.

Can I cry?

Perhaps He will hear my prayer after this longest all night cry.

p/s : Hoping for past not to happen is insane but what can be done is creating a bright future although with the gloomy and cloudy past, present which you had gone through. I love u, Fer.

Pocket Tips pasal Perempuan.

Hye guys. Memandangkan I nampak macam ramai je terpinga-pinga tak tahu apa yg perempuan tak suka sangat & sikap yg perempuan rasa macam susah untuk terima, I tolong lah senaraikan sikit ni. Harap membantu.

Perempuan tak suka sangat:

1. Lelaki kaki belit
Yang ni, korang lelaki tolong la jujur je kalau dah memang dalam perhubungan, jangan menipu. Selain tu jangan reka2 alasan, kalau nak main game, cakap je la nak main game. Kalau I, I ok je.

2. Lelaki yg nampak sangat terdesak
Terdesak tu macam u terlampau push perempuan tu untuk terima u atau untuk kenal u. Bagi masa. U boleh usaha tapi jangan nampak macam u terdesak sangat. Biar benda tu nampak natural.

3. Lelaki terlampau ego
Lelaki & ego, I taw susah nak dipisahkan tapi, dalam hal ni u kena pilih ego u atau dia. Tak kan la sebab ego u, u tak sanggup nak confess kat dia yg u syg & dah lama suka dia? Kalau mcm tu, u kena betul2 ego la tengok dia dengan org lain, jangan jeles pulak nanti.

4. Lelaki pandang rendah orang lain
Jangan sesekali u rendahkan org lain, lagi2 pesaing u. Kalau dalam nada gurau tu ok je if u dgn dia dah declare tapi kalau belum apa2 u dah sibuk rendahkan org lain, jangan salahkan I kalau dia tak pilih u. hehe.

5. Lelaki kedekut melampau
Alamak.. jangan la kedekut sangat bro. Kalau u ajak dia keluar, takkan u nk harap dia payung u semua kot? No..no..no... ni bukan pasal materialistik, ni pasal etika u la sbg lelaki, u yg ajak keluar, u la belanja, if dia ajak & u tak dak duit.. cakap ja tak dak duit..kalau dia tak material, dia akan faham & tak kan paksa u atau dia yg akan belanja u bro if dia memang berkeras nk keluar. Lagi satu, 1st date kt tempat biasa2 & yg u mampu bayar sahaja sebab u yg kena bayar kan? haha.

6. Lelaki kaki paw duit
Mak aiii...jangan terkejut bro.. memang wujud... u boleh test gadis u tapi u jangan sesekali paw dia, kalau tak, habis la u...U test la dia dengan cara pinjam RM50 je, cukup bulan u bayar balik on time plus siap bagi coklat sikit sebagai penghargaan. Lepas ni dia mesti tak lokek & dia percaya u. Tp ingat, jangan paw duit dia. Time ni la u boleh nampak dia ok ke tak nak tolong u.

7. Lelaki suka cakap lucah sepanjang masa.
Ni pantang. Kalau boleh jangan langsung. Melawak lucah pun jangan. Kalau berkias ok lagi kot terpulang kepada jenis perempuan. Tapi sebaiknya jangan. Nanti dia ingat u pervert, miang, gatal. Dah tak pasal2 melepas je... haish...

8. Lelaki diktator
Diktator ni macam suka tunjuk yg u berkuasa mutlak la sebab u lelaki. Heyy... u tak boleh macam tu bro lebih2 lagi dekat gadis2 yg educated ni. U kena beri pendapat u dan biar dia fikir. Jgn la cakap ayat yg mcm "u salah, u tak tahu, u perempuan...I lelaki, u kena ikut cakap I sebab I lelaki.." trust me it won't works. U kena bagi ayat lebih kurang macam ni, "I rasa, u tak patut la mcm tu..tapi terpulang, u kn dh besar, boleh nilai sendiri, I bg pendapat I je." Percaya lah yg dia akan ikut kalau dia pandai fikir

9. Lelaki tak faham bahasa
Tak faham2 bila dia dah tolak u. U bagi dia masa. Kalau dia tolak u, u biar dia tolak u, 3 kali ja. Kalau dia suka u gak, dia akan teringat je effort, usaha u yang sampai 3 kali tu. Kalau tak, u cari lain je bro. U kan lelaki, macho pulak tu kan.

10. Lelaki kaki pukul
Jangan sesekali u pukul dia walaupun dia cabar u. Biar u nampak dayus sebab tak pukul dia masa dia cabar u daripada u nampak dayus sebab u pukul dia. Walaupun dia mungkin jahat, u jangan pukul dia, perempuan bukan level u la untuk u pukul. Usah la rendahkan level u bro dgn cara pukul perempuan. Sabar kena tinggi, lagi2 dengan perempuan keras hati, keras kepala... macam I.. erk.. ok bro... Assalamualaikum.. Selamat sejahtera.. harap tips ni berguna untuk semua... ❤

Love.

Love is something that seems to be close but yet so far away.

Love is when you didn't even got time to think because you only have time to feel.

Love is a cliché, desired by almost every single human.

Love is you?

Happy Belated Birthday awak.

Hye you.

Its been a short while.. and think of I might try to write this for you.. although you won't realize this.

Hey you,
I saw you with her,
yet I decide to walk away.

But my heart is trembling,
It's asking me to stay.

You seems to like her,
Like more than a lot,
More than you like me before,
That's the thing, I never got.

We met again, but I am at worst,
To let you saw me at my worst,
Like pain, trapped in my chest.

Realizing you won't stop me,
You wouldn't even realize,
Days making us distance,
and not just distance from eye to eye.

Time might not be the reason,
Even also the distance,
Silence perhaps make a different,
Although you might not care even.

Feel like surrendering,
You gave me hope,
While hope like promise,
The promise I needed the most.

To hope for the remaining love,
As hoping if it is not the hardest part,
The most likely promise that vague,
The lost when we were apart.

However...

We aren't the same,
Won't be the same no more,
Though I feel it is a shame,
While this time, nothing left to be blame.

Though, it is nice to meet you again,
Still felt like goodbye for now,
May time will heal this pain,
With no more fake promise and vow.

Guy so just please,
Leave and let me go,
Aches and scars, you bring,
Had enough for me to blow.

Despite all this...

Dearest Alimiey,
Happy Belated Birthday,
May she bring you cheers,
And joy along your way.

-Teka Teki Misteri-

Lonely No More - Rob Thomas

Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
But words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby

I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it's harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything; just to get you back again
Why can't we just try

I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you

I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
But you know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

I don't wanna be lonely anymore 

**Dear you..please teach me how to love again, I hurt myself badly in the process. 😢😢😢

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No Good

I am not a good person,
not even a good friend,
not a good lover,
not a good sister,
not a good daughter,
not a good student,
not a good employee,
not good in everything but...

one thing that I wonder, what would it be to the people's surround me when I am gone, die?

Will I be missed?
Will I be in their pray?
Will I be included in their best memory?
Will I manage to make something that benefit others even when I am gone?

Heavy thinker. That's just me.

#25 : Pain of my life.

Each day when I wake up, I miss you.

Each night before asleep, I cry because I miss you so.

The story that I know only with pain and all sorrow.

Even writing this piece had made tears fall down my cheek.

I love you. I miss you. Yes, I do.

Be with me please. I willing to sacrifice all men in my phonebook as long as you are here with me always.

#24 : Hey..

Hey..I know this is not cool but I am kind of like you...

Yup...like you like a lot...

This is hard...because I know it from the start that you won't ever like me back...

It is sad isn't it? To like a person after he liked you... Because you just can't be attractive forever...

I am sad. Real sad. I like you a lot and I do hope I got courage to face this again but I can't...

Every time this situation happen its only gonna be me whom like a person. It will always be one sided love...

And again for almost most of the time, welcome back one sided love. Ouch. 

#23 : Five Golden Rules of Peaceful Life.

The secrets of a happy and peaceful life :

1. Always pray hard for all your wish and request. Usaha dan fokus gak.
2. Turn off your internet data before you sleep.
3. Don't bother to fall in love until its fall by itself. Let it be.
4. Don't urge something which are not urgent.
5. Just keep calm and always show blurr and face palm face to something that sounds silly. (jaga hati member, tak sampai hati nak terus terang. #kantoi )

Those golden rules can be add mengikut kesesuaian. haha.

#22 : Moving on.

Today is an important day in my life. Today I got the news that my first love are getting married by the end of this year but what weird is that I don't even sad or mad about this but I am excited and glad for both of them. Am I weird?

Hence I came on to the conclusion which lead me to write this :

To those whom keep on asking me about letting go and move on...this is for all of you...

Letting go isn't about erasing the memory but it's about creating the new one instead. Don't try hard to erase but keep on writing a new page. By that, InsyaAllah you will not realize that you are already moving on.

#21 : Waiting you.

Waiting is painful, forgetting is painful but not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering. -Shaz Johar-

Ok. This is one of my favorite. 

#20 : About hurt.

I rather stop, rest, wait and hunting all over again although I know it is hard rather than being with you because both hurts me. Thus, if it is hurt, I prefer the chase, the adventure because it is worth it. You won't know why being with you is hurt because you are hurting me by each single word that you say. Sorry that I leave you but I just cannot stand that anymore. It is not worth it.

After all, the pain had become immune for me. Almost everyday I felt it whether with you or not being with you it is just the same. It is hurt. Yaa.. it did hurt me. :'(

Those scares did reminds me that the pain is always real and are not going away.

p/s : I already forget what it is like to not feel broken and yeah I do live each single day instead of jump off from a skyscraper, bridge, railway etc. Well at least I try to live.

#19 : Get Lost!!

Hey...

It's been a while...
I'm facing my hard time...
I'm writing with my right hand only...
I had broke my left hand...
I face an accident while I'm on my way to the campus...
At that time, I feel like I'm dreaming...
The accident happen so fast...
Luckily, I'm safe...
I feel like being given by Allah a second chance to live the life of me...
I break nothing but only at these two place which are at my left humerus and at my palm...
Although all this happen for a reason and it's my fate...
But still, deep in my heart, there is a small tiny bit/pieces which blame this single person whom keep on ruin my day...
Did you know that, ever since I know you...
Each day for me is really miserable...
You always complicate me and keep on changing and misunderstanding what I really mean and what I really wanted to say....
You are an egoist...
You are a jerk...
You never know how to appreciate and respect others...
All you know is only you...
You ask me for help but then you didn't want to follow my guidance and advice at all...
You, dumb ass made me waste each of my day after knowing you...
You waste up my time for only think of how am I terminating you from my life and made you understand that it was you whom create all the mess...
The thought...
All of the thought and remembrance on this issue keep on repeating and playing on my mind without stop although at that time I'm on my bike and on my way to the campus...
Oh Creature!!
How I wish that I don't ever knew you...
How I wish that I don't ever give you a chance...
How I wish I can rewind back the time, just to make sure that I don't know you at all...
You are not just putting me into hard time but..
You also make me lose the part of me which is always cheerful, jovial and optimist...
You made me full of bad thought by influencing me to not keep giving chance to others...
I hate you...
and.... You can get lost now!!

Don't you ever dream of coming back, because if there is still no one for me...It wouldn't be you also for sure... I don't know you anymore... Do leave my life right now...!!!

#18 : Useless

I have nothing but a blog to express all I feel...

But now, I just feel that the thing on expressing my feeling in this blog is no longer working on me...

I feel insecure... I feel useless... I feel ashamed... I feel pathetic... I feel confused...

Stressed... That is not yet even exactly the word which describe me the most right now...

It was more...

Unreliable... How come we can trust when betrayal is the only thing that returns?

I just hate this....


Almost all of this... I feel terrible...

I just can't...

Please stop pushing me to do... Please stop asking me on anything about that...

Please let me breath and for one and only let me think just only for myself... Just me...

I'm hurt... This thing is killing me softly inside...

I just can't stand this anymore...

I just can't bear this...


Goodbye... So long useless thing...

#17 : Sorry is just not that easy...

Seriously.... I really need to learn how things are being clarified as done~

I really want to learn how to stay calm when he is in trouble...


I really want to learn how to settle down and shut off this feeling on him inside me...


I don't want to be like this anymore... wasting my times on a really unnecessary homosapien that hurts me & my pride the most.... 

I'm really tired of all these...

Why would you text me? 
Why would you come back?
Why would you?


You never need to say that you're sorry because saying sorry just can't solve things but apologizing with realize & regrets is just what suit you...


Sorry? For real dude?


Please try to ever use another line -_-

DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE SORRY, CAUSE YOU’RE NOT.words. words. words. You know, words may have definitions, but these days, I think that’s the most a word can have. Definitions, no meaning, no feeling, nothing. These days, words are only words. Nothing more.

Sorry is the most useless word. 

No matter how many times someone says it, 

it's never going to reverse the damage they have done.  

WOW!!! SORRY!! Forgiving you, yes I did~


But, to trust you and being honest and sincere like before... Oh... It's really not gonna work...

Never ever forget the different between sorry and apologize or else miserable that it would become...


Sorry is not just a word... Please do take "SORRY" seriously neither when u said it nor also when u heard or received it...

I just want you to learn a lesson which called APPRECIATED!!

Sorry dude... I might enjoyed seeing you in a bit mess without me after this... Perhaps...


OPSSSS!!! Did I just say sorry?


Sorry, my mistaken... OPPSSS!!! I did it again... It just slip from my mouth so easily... Oh, my bad~

May this feeling rest in peace...

p/s : Is it ok for me to be enjoyed seeing u in a bit mess after I left? Its not violence right? Oh, I love this~

#16 : Broken-hearted

It's my English post... (suka hati aku je bebila pn rasa nak buat english post)

p/s : sebelum tu ingin ditegaskan blog ini tiada wordless Wednesday and so on...i just make this blog to be awesome in my own way #awesome lah sgt kau!!

ok...now, back to the main topic...

it's hurt you know...

it's really damn hurt when i knew the fact that u are using me and then dump me...

it's suck!! sounds rude am I?

however... I am the type of girl that will always stand firm above all things...

I believe on the principal of there is nobody will actually care of ourselves since our own shadow will also leave us in the bright place....

Yea... I'm admitting that the scars u leave seems to gave me a deep marks...

kalau hati ni laku nak jual kat bundle, aku nak jual dan teruskan hidup. -Terfaktab

but still... I am the one who can't put the blame on u...

The girl who can sit down and pretend to be calm (perhaps) plus praying for your happiness without me being around after all that I had sacrifice = yea...that's me

At first I feel like dying...but I had practice the situation when we both decide to becomes best friend before you truly admit that you used me...

I'm not mad...but I feel sad and sorry for u...for not seeing the beauty in the heart of mine...

Every time I look back on our memories...tears still fall down through my cheek...

Its been really hard for me to make the decision in deciding to moving on and back off from this relationship instead of still being there waiting and hoping for u to see me as somebody for serious...

I prefer to leave as u seems don't want me to stay anymore...

After all, u are no longer stopping me to leave u like before...

At least before this, I saw your effort that making me stay which then lead us to these TWO years...

But now....here we are... reaching this stage...I'll be glad...

Knowing all this happen exactly like I expected not as I hope is also a relief...

I leave u as a better man... I knew that...

There will be no more Mr. Juliet d Orange for me after this...no more making cards, writing letters, creating quotes, writing poems and as for the novel...let it be without the endings...perhaps~

It is enough for me to stalking u far away until somebody wakes me and makes me love him...

OUCH!! Is that love?

This post is nothing compared to what I've been through when I'm with u...

You teach me enough...and I'll give u more than u deserve...

Still it is my fault for expecting too much from you...

May this feeling rest in peace...  

2nd p/s : kengkonon nak rare sangat lah kan sebab tak nak buat wordless Wednesday tu? rare lah sangat kau!! ^_^  #not so forever alone~

#15 : Me... Happy??

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections..."

as he always said that i'm look so happy like i didn't have any problems in this world...



but he doesn't even know the looks in my face, the cherish in my eyes is just to make him not to be worried about me....

to told him that i can live independently....

and also i'm hiding my tears, my worries, my sadness just to see he's smiling happily and doesn't want to disturb his busyness life...

but all over the waiting time...

i had felt so many feelings until sometimes those tears are really hard to came out from my eyes since it's hurting me so badly...

but still yet, it's not your fault, you does not ask me to wait...

however, when i'm asking to leave, you just remain silence...

i'm keeping all those feeling inside alone... those pain, those missing, those love...would u even share some from me??

IT IS HURTING ME SAYANG...BUT HOW COME I'M GONNA TELL YOU... YOU WON'T DO ANYTHING...



that's my answer for your question all over our relationship... Mr. Juliet d Orange....~




p/s : I won't leave you...I won't beg you to accept me... but I really hope that one day you will see and feel the sincerity and the love that I gave you so that you can reply me back...

#14 : Count on Me dear...

Dear Mr. Juliet d Orange,

I can not promise that I'll always
know the right words to comfort you
when you need support...
But I'll try

I can not promise to always
Know what you're feeling
Or what will make you happy...
But I'll always remember to ask

I can not promise to always
know how to cheer you
when you're down...
But I'll be there with a smile

I can not promise to always understand
But I'll always give my best...

Though I can not promise you many things,
I can promise to be here for you today
Like there's no tomorrow...

I would give up my happiness just to see you smile...
because your smile will brighten up my whole world



p/s : this heart is always with u...always... it can't go with others...

#12 : Ramadhan This Year~

If last year... i'm a bit suffer during Ramadhan...

If last year, i turn into a freak because crying like a baby...

If last year....I'm breaking fast alone almost a month during Ramadhan....

If last year, i'm not doing terawih fully due to some unsuitable circumstances...

This year I would InsyaAllah be much better....

This year I would InsyaAllah being tougher & stronger...

This year would InsyaAllah be more cheer and merrier...

This year I would InsyaAllah be full on terawih...

I can't promise anything to myself... but,

I'm trying my best to satisfy myself in order to be the best...

Not the best in front of others... but,

the best and much better than the OLD me...

yeah... a quotes say that

"The hardest challenges or enemies to be beat are not others but it is you, yourself"

and i admit the quotes since it's fact...

okay...I'll end this by asking...